Something is Missing

So, I have been experiencing major computer problems at home, which has delayed the publication of this week’s entry, however as usual the wheels in my brain have been churning, and I have been doing quite a bit of reflecting. During the moments my computer has been working, I have also devoted quite a bit of time to reading and responding to other blogs. Practicality played a big part of this; I didn’t want to do any major writing of my own, as I was afraid I would lose it with the random restarting of my computer (which has been the problem I am experiencing- it is so annoying) and as a result the different topics others have blogged about have also sent my brain reeling.

I really enjoyed hearing about Biesta and his ideas and philosophies. Though I have not read any of his writings, and am working solely with what was introduced in class and in the blogs, he seems to have flipped some of our common understandings on their sides. I am quite intrigued by the change in the outlook of empathy, and the idea of putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes and then looking back out at ourselves. What a cool way to see the world. Just hearing about these ideas gave me a lot to think about.

So I have been doing quite a bit of thinking, and I have ended up at a point where it is clear to me, that through all of the discussions on curriculum, pedagogy, and philosophy something is missing. As I begin to pinpoint what this is for me, I am beginning to get a little bit nervous. I am afraid I am opening a can of worms that may be both controversial and somewhat uncomfortable. In order to explain my thoughts, I also recognize that I am putting a part of myself and my beliefs out there, which I have not done until today, and I am left wondering how they will be received (which I suppose is always the case, but in this instance it feels a bit more personal).

Together with this, in my personal life, due to major changes in the past year, I have been going through a very strong period of personal reflection. I have spent the better part of the last 20 years of my life journaling, and so I have been going through an intense process of reviewing and reflecting on my life, my own changes and growth, through my journals.

About 15 years ago, due to various circumstances, I began what I consider to be the spiritual path of my life. This is not to be confused with anything having to do with religion. In fact, my spiritual path led me away from the religious customs and traditions of my conservative Jewish upbringing. As a young, 20-something I found myself uncovering my spiritual self, as a secular Jew living in Israel.

Rereading these journals recently I came across a quote I had noted from a book. The book was a small publication that I vaguely remember, called That Which You Are Seeking Is Causing You To Seek. I did not bother to note the author, and at the time never imagined that I would become an English teacher and actually care that I had not noted it.

The quote read, “In spiritual practice it is good to be disturbed. We want to be disturbed as long as we can be disturbed. When you are not disturbed it is only because you are not disturbed, not because nothing is disturbing. It is true that nothing is intrinsically disturbing, but as long as you can be disturbed you can’t know that. So if we want to wake up, if we want to see how we create disturbance & suffering within ourselves we will want to continue to be disturbed and to pay very close attention to being disturbed for as long as we are disturbed.”

As soon as I read this, from some 15 years ago, I immediately thought of our class, Kincheloe and his “State of Discomfort,” Biesta turning ideas upside down, Hansen and the “Poetics of Teaching,” and even some of the McLuhan ideas, and realized it is all connected. It seems to me that underneath of everything, underneath the curriculum, behind the pedagogy and philosophy, there is the spiritual component that is conspicuously missing, or at least not talked about in an obvious matter. As I continue to read and listen to others, more and more, I feel like these leaders and great minds in education are circling these ideas, but never naming them.

As a result, I am left with the feeling that something is missing, and I am left with many questions. Where does the spiritual fit into all of this? Does spirituality play a role in curriculum, pedagogy, and educational philosophy? Can we talk about god without naming it god? Can we talk about education on a spiritual plane? Can we talk about spirituality in school without bringing in the subject of religion?

If I believe in a god of my understanding, and live my life accordingly, don’t I bring that god to school everyday, even though I never speak a word of it or “teach” about it?

It seems to me that there exists a spirituality that is at the foundation of everything and goes way beyond the religions of the world. Whether we call it God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, the creator, Krishna, or any other of the many names, is there not an underlying common denominator, or a spirit that exists? Can or does this spirit connect to education, curriculum and our teaching practices regardless of what we choose to name it?

And so, once again, I am left with more questions than answers, which again is the foundation of a spiritual practice. So as I close this entry, which I am sure I will continue to ponder in the future, I wonder about this missing component, this spirit and the role it plays in education, teaching and curriculum. On that note I pose this question: Does curriculum have a soul?